What I’m Grateful For This Christmas

Recently I’ve been overcome by waves of intense gratitude. They usually come on while walking outside. It’s been cold and rainy here in Oakland lately, and the winter light has a crisp, enhanced quality.

Part of it is life circumstances. After over a year of chronic gastric pain, I frequently feel completely normal these days. It is SUCH a good feeling and the sense of relief I feel is equivalent to how I felt being able to breathe normally again after my long struggle with asthma. For those of you struggling with health issues, don’t give up hope. In most cases your body can come back with time, the right building blocks, and lifestyle modifications.

I’m incredibly grateful for my wife and daughter. Kia and I have been married for 22 years now (we married young) and we still make each other laugh every day. My daughter sometimes challenges me by mirroring my own levels of stubbornness and craftiness, but I love her immensely and parenting gets easier every year (yes I know that will probably change when she’s a teenager but I’m enjoying the pre-teen years).

And the writing. Somehow, after more than a decade of toil and banging my head against the wall, I’ve broken through to the other side. I just sold my second novel, which puts me squarely in the novelist category as far as I can tell. It’s not a glamorous career (lots of work and not very much money — at least not yet) but it’s one I’ve dreamed of since I was about eight years old. I’m grateful to all the editors who picked up my stories (and/or gave me feedback and constructive criticism) and to Flame Tree Press for publishing The Sky Woman.

Money. That joke about living as a white male is like playing a video game on Easy mode? Sure, I get it — I’ve had a lot of advantages. But I’ve also had more than a few years netting less than $20K (though fortunately not recently, and that mostly had to do with never taking a full time job because I wanted to make beats or write stories). These days the bank accounts are solid, income from consulting is good, and even writing money is starting to pick up. I’m thankful I learned how to invest and save early.

My parents, my brother, and my in-laws. Both my father-in-law and my uncle died last January, and it made me really appreciate my living family members. We’ve got a small but good clan, with lots of love and mutual support. I don’t take that for granted.

My music brothers, Stephen “Spesh” Kay and Mark Musselman (the other halves of Jondi & Spesh, and Momu, respectively). I didn’t know when I started making beats with these guys when we were all in our twenties that I would gain two friends who would stick with me through thick and thin, and me with them.

And much much more. My friends, my readers, my clients, my D&D buddies, the roof over my head…

And of course our dog Leia.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to you! Have a good time and stay alive.