Remembering to Be Emotionally Non-Reactive (Electric Hot Tub Emergency)

Not our house, not our hot tub.

My wife and daughter really wanted a hot tub. Eventually they convinced me. And with all the money we’ve saved by not traveling or eating out during the pandemic, we could afford it.

There were two dozen things that needed to happen in the back yard before we could put in the hot tub. An old trellis needed removing. Some post holes needed to be filled with concrete. A fence needed repairing.

Eventually we completed all these tasks as a family. The hot tub arrived. Our electrician installed it.

And it didn’t work. It turned on but it didn’t heat up. Instead of a hot tub we just had a tub.

At this point my anxiety started to rise. I realized I was feeling really tense and really bad. As bad as I might feel if there was a real crisis: a health issue or some real danger to my family.

But it was just a hot tub.

And then I remembered one of my core values.

Quality of Consciousness

I’ve written before about quality of consciousness. For me, maintaining a high quality state of mind is just as important as maintaining physical health, good relationships, artistic productivity, and financial stability.

My three “pillars” of quality of consciousness are serenity, intelligence, and motivation.

Part of serenity is learning (and remembering) to be emotionally non-reactive. This doesn’t mean repressing emotions or being robotic and unemotional. It does mean that we have a degree of choice in how we react to difficult and stressful situations. We can’t fully control our emotional state, but we can influence and engineer it with cognitive reframing, biofeedback, and other techniques.

As soon as I remembered I had that set of skills, I was able to apply them. I talked myself down and significantly reduced my anxiety.

For me, the takeaway was that having systems and techniques for anxiety reduction and mental health isn’t enough. I needed to remind myself that serenity is important to me, one of my core values (as an aspect of quality of consciousness).

Values are even more important and fundamental than systems.

First World Problems

Your hot tub doesn’t work. Classic first world problem, right? Cry me a river.

Turns out a fuse was blown. The hot tub was only getting 120V when it needed 240 to heat. Also we were using the wrong kind of breaker box and might have electrocuted ourselves.

It’s all good now. We’re hot-tubbing every night. Posh British people think hot tubs are the ultimate commoner possession, but I’m okay with that.