In 2020 my freelance consulting work crashed. Though none of my clients went out of business, many scaled back their operations and/or new software development dramatically in response to the pandemic. This, combined with a steady downward trend in the type of consulting work I’d been doing for many years, resulted in a very slow work year with far fewer billable hours than I needed to cover my expenses.

Fortunately I had plenty of savings, as well as other income from writing, blogging, music royalties, and investments. I also applied for and received a PPP loan. So I had enough money, and no shortage of ways to fill my time. I used the additional time to complete the The Last Crucible, Book 3 of Reclaimed Earth. The biggest challenge was to avoid spiraling into panic, a common mind-state for me when I experience even mild financial stress.

One way I dealt with this panic was to retool my tech skills. I won’t get into the details, because that’s not what this post is about. Suffice to say my retooling worked, and now I have a buttload of new work. In addition to that, most of my old clients resurfaced with new change requests.

I’ve been though the feast-or-famine cycle before with freelance work, but this is a new level.

I experienced a very real temptation to put writing and music aside until the work surge subsided. I don’t like the stress of work hanging over my head. I like to blast through it and get it out of the way. But I knew if I did so, putting aside my chosen purpose, that my soul would die (depression, hopelessness, futility of life, etc.).

I don’t feel my purpose is God-given. I don’t believe in God. But I’ve chosen what I want to do with my time on this rock hurtling through space. And it involves more than fulfilling software change orders.

So I’m left with a sense of discomfort. I can’t flake on my clients; that would go against my values. But I don’t want to surrender the part-time, creativity-focused lifestyle I’ve spent so many years cultivating (my daughter’s nickname for me at one point was “part-time stay-at-home tryna-be-cool dad”, which was fairly accurate and a point of pride).

Long-term I can modulate my work load by saying “no thank you” to new projects, and/or raising my rates until demand subsides. But somehow I have to get through this surge, which looks to last for at least several more months.

So here’s what I’m doing to thread the needle:

  • Work more. There’s no way around it.
  • Guard at least two hours each weekday morning for writing, and try to make the most of it. No meetings, no emails, no distractions.
  • Hit pause on some of my less rewarding hobbies. Lately I’ve been playing so much chess that it’s become less fun. So I deleted my chess account and gave up on chasing higher ratings. I’ll just play an anon game now and then. Chess can drive a person crazy.
  • Prioritize the non-work activities that really nourish me: time with my family, time with my friends, long walks, working out, reading, etc.
  • Listen to music all day while I work, and schedule at least a couple music-making sessions each week (solo and/or collaborative).
  • Book vacations, and tell clients well ahead of time when I won’t be available.

So that’s my life. I just started the second draft of my new science fiction novel Saint Arcology today, which I’ll be working on for at least a few weeks.

In related news, I’ll be attending the Nebula Conference in Los Angeles in May, in person. If you happen to be going, let’s arrange a meet-up.