Often when something good happens to me, I just take it in stride. I don’t want to get too excited about any particular success because fortune rises and falls. Everything that goes up must come down. And even if the general trend in any particular area is up/good/optimistic, I often find myself anticipating or worrying about the inevitable declines and losses.

Recently I decided this is completely wrong-headed.

Kia, who recently lost both her mother and uncle (and her father a few years earlier) helped me change my mind. She, too, had been focusing too much on loss, especially witnessing end-of-life declines in health, wealth, and mental clarity. But gradually, over the course of many conversations, we both changed how we were looking at things.

In the end, we all lose. There is no winning at life. You can die well loved, rich, with many achievements, and even with most of your marbles intact. But you still die. There’s no getting out of this game alive.

You can live a “good life”, contributing to the world, caring for your family, making lots of money, having adventures, living by whatever values you hold. But in the end we’re all still dead, unable to appreciate any nice words people might say about us after we’re gone (and of course it can go the other way too).

With this in mind, I no longer take my wins in stride. I celebrate them because there is no winning in general, there are only individual victories and positive moments.

Of course some wins are bigger than others. Graduating from college is a bigger deal than completing a single assignment. But I am no longer interested in deferring my sense of joy when something goes right. Just because something will inevitably go wrong tomorrow or the next day, just because there’s always a bigger hill to climb, doesn’t invalidate that something good or great just happened and deserves a moment of appreciation.

So take your wins, big and small, in every life area. Acknowledge them and feel good about them. They’re all we got.