Sometime in my forties I realized that all major choices could be boiled down to two paths:
- Empowering action (research/planning/implementation)
- Passive paralysis (inaction, worry, pathological perfectionism, denial, etc.)
And yet all too often, I still catch myself taking the second, objectively worse path. Why? Because empowering action requires the expenditure of energy, mental focus, and the risk of failure or poor returns. So I look for “outs” that will exempt me from difficult actions and effortful tasks. These might look like:
“That’s out of my control or influence.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“That’s way too hard.”
Success or improvement in every aspect of life is achievable, and there are multitudes of people who have already achieved success in those areas who will happily share the exact steps they took, often for free. But it’s often disappointing to hear their “answers” because an accurate depiction of how they achieved success invariably includes specialized knowledge, many hours of focused work, and/or difficult behavioral or attitudinal shifts.
So how do we get past those mental barriers and expand our personal power?
For me, the answer is twofold:
1. I accept that what I want may well be within my reach, but not immediately and not without effort. I reject modes of thinking that lead to passivity and living with low standards.
2. I build motivation and focus by letting go of some wants and desires that aren’t consistent with my core values, and double down on what’s really important to me (relationships with family and friends, mental and physical health, artistic work and integrity, making a good living and co-providing for my family, saving democracy, the habitability of our planet, etc.).
That’s my thought for the day.
Posts in the pipeline:
- some pictures of our new house
- a fiction reading May 19th near a lesser-known bridge
- taurine!
