sci-fi author, beatmaker

Category: Metaprogramming Page 6 of 29

Kindness and Free Will in an Uncaring Universe

Leia, looking toward the future, or possibly at a squirrel. (picture by my daughter on her iPad)

One doesn’t have to look far to find overwhelming evidence that the universe is an uncaring place, and that life doesn’t play fair. Good people die young for no good reason, animals in the wild are painfully eaten alive by their predators, and entire civilizations are beset by war, famine, and plague. Mercy and fairness are entirely human constructs, and those that would ascribe such qualities to a creator or god must undergo mental gymnastics of the highest order to stave off crippling cognitive dissonance.

Sometimes this nihilistic realization gets me down. There is no inherent meaning in life, so I must create my own meaning (or live a subjectively meaningless life). The world is filled with suffering that I can do very little to prevent (including, at times, my own).

At other times, I feel incredibly optimistic and empowered, even in the face of my own nihilistic worldview. The values and attitudes that create this feeling of empowerment (not all the time, but sometimes) include:

  • Kindness. Kindness is not an emergent property of the physical, chemical, biological, or somatic levels of reality (see NENT), and thus phenomena at those levels (such as earthquakes, floods, asteroid impacts, supervolcanoes, illness, aging, etc.) can appear unkind/uncaring to human beings. But kindness is emergent at social levels and above, and is hugely abundant among those reality levels. I can choose to be kind to my fellow humans and animals, and to accept kindness from a multitude of sources. This is an excellent antidote to the apparent uncaring/cruel nature of structurally lower levels of reality.
  • Free will. Most of the world operates outside of our personal control and influence. Even our own personal decisions are highly governed by instinct, reactions, and deeply ingrained habits. But still, we have the ability to make decisions, to change our own behaviors, and to influence others. I feel happier and more powerful when I try to expand my free will and make more conscious decisions, even in the face of the knowledge that I will always have more responsibilities in life than I have control (as is true for everyone who makes serious commitments to other people, organizations, and/or ideals).

That’s my mini-sermon for today. Hope you’re doing well. Live long and prosper!

My next post will be a personal update dedicated to my Patreon supporters.

Revisiting Goals and Intentions, 10 Years Later

My original blog banner (photo by Stephanie Morgan)

This year marks the ten-year anniversary of this blog (my first post was written in December of 2009). Zooming out, that decade comprises about a fifth of my life so far, a third of my adulthood, about half of my marriage, nearly the entirety of my time as a father, and more than three times the length of my writing career (which didn’t officially start until 2016 with my first published story).

Plan Your Whole Life

Rock solid.

It’s futile to plan your whole life. Nobody’s life goes according to plan.

Q: How to make God laugh? 
A: Make a plan.

But it’s also futile not to.

I deleted a blog post yesterday. It was all about how I’ve been sleeping better (which is generally true), and what’s been working for me (getting more bright light in the morning, some EFT techniques, herbs to reduce cortisol, calcium+magnesium, and so on). I’d written the post after sleeping a perfect seven hours without waking up at all (without any sleeping pills or megadoses of vitamins). I thought I was over the worst of my sleeping issues.

But then the night before last I didn’t sleep at all. Not a wink. Aside from a late dinner and staying up a bit too late watching Netflix (with f.lux and my amber glasses), I’m not sure what I did differently.

A Good Life Is Made of Small Things

My father-in-law is dying. He most likely has only weeks to live. As dying goes, he’s doing it really well, surrounded by loved ones, with good professional home-hospice care. He’s a renowned poet and translator, well respected, loved by hundreds if not thousands of students, ex-students, colleagues, friends, and family. He’s lived a full, uncompromising life, and was lucky enough to fall deeply in love, once again, in the last few months. The house where he’s staying, in the Berkeley hills, has a stupendous view of the bay. He’s cogent, self-aware, and taking on this final challenge with grace, courage, and an open heart.

The situation has made me think about what’s important in life. That’s something I think about a lot, but now more so than ever.

My 2018 Motto

My 2018 motto is “no rushing, no slacking.”

I’m going full tortoise.

Many of the problems I’ve created for myself in the past couple years have come from rushing around. I broke my foot trying to get somewhere in a hurry (on a skateboard, in the dark). I accumulated a huge number of rejection slips because I hastily submitted short stories that weren’t completely polished (some were later accepted after a few more rounds of editing). I injured my stomach by eating too quickly, drinking too much coffee, and letting myself get stressed out.

Page 6 of 29

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